On first blush, both statements seem reasonable. They are ideas that are promoted in song, story and advertising campaigns everywhere. And like every limiting lie there is some truth in them.
- I can do it myself!
There are certainly some things each of us need to learn how to do ourselves. However, too often that thought gets generalized into I have to do everything myself. Then, just like the toddler who says this incessantly, we become a resistant to asking for help when we actually need it. We can’t learn from others since not doing it ourselves would be cheating or giving up. Our progress trajectory is flattened just when we need the extra energy partners, or cheerleaders, would provide.
The other insidious thought that stunts our success is usually in the context of some dark thought, feeling or behaviour.
- I’m the only one!
When this is coupled with the belief that we must ‘do it ourself’ to overcome that darkness we are effectively stuck. We have no ability to move forward, but don’t have anyone to give us a lift.
My father loved to quote “The self made man. A terrible example of unskilled labor!” If you are doing all your work alone you are leaving a significant portion of your potential success on the table. This isn’t a new concept. Thousands of years ago, the Bible author wrote, “Suppose someone falls down. Then his friend can help him up. But suppose the man who falls down doesn’t have anyone to help him up. Then feel sorry for him!” (Ecclesiastes 4:10)
If you are doing life on your own, you are working too hard.
Where do you go to get help when you hit a roadblock in life or work?