In many ways I’m a pretty focused guy. I have lots of things on the go, but I have a plan in my head about where I want to end up. I can deal with obstacles and roadblocks with grace and aplomb. Well, sometimes it’s with fury and outrage, but you know what I mean. Usually I can deal.
There is one area that regularly derails me. It drops me into pits of despair and outrage. Oddly enough, it’s when my technology blows up or fails me somehow. That’s a bit odd since a significant part of my job is to assist those around me to keep their technology working. I somehow have this idea that while others will have issues with their gear and their software, mine should ‘just work!’
Naturally that isn’t the case. And it’s a lot more often than I imagine is reasonable. I use that word imagine purposefully. After a particularly vexing issue this very morning I started thinking about why this throws me under the bus so violently. That word ‘imagine’ is really my issue.
When I say out loud “I shouldn’t have issues because I’m the tech guy” the statement is patently laughable. I’m using software with millions of lines of code. I’m trying new products, software, processes, etc all the time. My system is robust, but it’s still just that a breakable, fallible, system. It is subject to the same laws of entropy and Murphy as everyone else’s.
I realized that the biggest issue I have is that of pride. It offends my sense of competence and capability. Why me!?!
And just as I realized again this morning, when I stiffen my attitude and get offended, I lose the flexibility of perspective I need to identify and implement solutions. It’s taken a lot of times bashing into this same issue to get to this much conscious awareness. Here’s hoping that I’ll remember this moment of clarity sooner when the next crash happens.